The Role Of The Illusory Effect In The Negative Interaction Cycle.

by Chris Cantergiani on April 1st, 2024

It’s April Fools’ Day, and I thought there’s no better day than this to talk about the illusory effect.

Now, I don’t think of myself as a prankster, but have to admit that April 1st holds a special place to me. When I was a teenager, my family took a late-March trip to London and we were unaware that local newsrooms and businesses conspired to prank the public year-after-year on April Fools’ Day. We woke up to several hilarious headlines and advertisements, including one full page print ad announcing that BMW was about to release a car that had steering wheels on BOTH sides of the front seat. That way, Brits could take their car by ferry to France and pop out the steering wheel from the passenger side dashboard, and put the one on the left-hand side away in the glovebox. The same morning the BBC announcer reported with a complete deadpan delivery that the iconic lion statues around Trafalgar Square were up for sale.  

They were stories juuuuust plausible enough to be believed, but amusingly untrue. I loved getting the joke and seeing that professionals were engaging in lighthearted deception and misdirection, blurring the lines between reality and illusion in the spirit of good-natured fun.

The illusions crafted on April Fools' Day are temporary, fleeting moments of trickery designed to evoke laughter and amusement. Yet, they offer a glimpse into the power of perception and the ease with which our minds can be fooled by clever illusions.

The illusory effect refers to a psychological phenomenon where individuals perceive something to be true or accurate, even though it may not align with objective reality. It involves a distortion of perception or cognition that leads people to believe in something that is not entirely accurate or based on solid evidence. Just as a well-executed prank can momentarily deceive the senses, so too can misunderstandings and misperceptions sow seeds of doubt and discord between partners.

This effect plays a sneaky role in the negative interaction cycle, acting like a trickster whispering lies into the ears of our clients.

As the couple engages in their familiar dance of conflict, we might notice how each partner's perceptions become clouded by the illusion of threat and rejection. The illusory effect distorts their interpretation of their partner's words and actions, magnifying perceived slights and grievances, and fueling the flames of resentment.

In the end, the illusory effect keeps the negative interaction cycle spinning, trapping them in a loop of miscommunication and hurt feelings. Breaking free from this cycle requires recognizing when the illusory effect is at play and challenging those distorted perceptions. As EFT therapists, it is our role to guide these couples towards a deeper understanding of the illusory nature of their conflict. Through compassionate inquiry and empathic attunement, we can help clients unearth the underlying emotions driving their reactions and perceptions. By fostering open communication, empathy, and a willingness to question assumptions, we can help couples begin to unravel the illusions and find their way back to a healthier, more harmonious relationship.

Now on with this week’s Ohio EFT Newsletter:

How To Fix Your Marriage In 16 Hours.

by John Koten on April 1st, 2024

‘High impact’ couples therapy is costly, intense—and, its fans say, more effective than traditional counseling. Perhaps this article will inspire you to consider doing similar retreats. However, I added this story this week especially because the headline is, you know, a little misleading! But, if these are the kinds of stories couples we see are reading, it’s worth knowing what stories are informing their ideas of therapy.

Farewell - And Good Riddance - To The ‘Typical American Family’.

by Kelli Maria Korducki on April 1st, 2024

For most of the 20th century, the word "family" in America evoked a predictable picture of cookie-cutter cleanliness: the happily married husband and wife, their 2.5 kids, and one improbably well-behaved golden retriever, all under the same roof. But the nuclear family has steadily eroded over the last 50 years. This article from Insider makes a persuasive case that the model is beginning to look more like a fringe lifestyle choice than the bedrock of American society.

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[Video] Assume That I Can - World Down Syndrome Day 2024.

by CoorDown on April 1st, 2024

Our negative assumptions about people with Down syndrome can lead us to treat them in such a way that these assumptions become reality. This powerful video from the non-profit group CoorDown hits the nail on the head for the message the group has been working on since 1987. CoorDown is the official body for discussion with all institutions on the issues and rights of people with Down syndrome.

Sexting When You’re Over 30: A Cringe-Free Guide for Couples.

by Elizabeth Bernstein on April 1st, 2024

Racy texts are a good baby step to reignite the romance in a long-term relationship. Here’s a primer.

Confused By The New EFT Certification Process? Don’t Miss Our Next OhioEFT Zoom Call - Friday, April 26th.

by Ohio EFT on April 1st, 2024

Join us at 9:00am on the last Friday of April for our continuing discussion about Emotionally Focused Therapy. We’ll be concluding our walk through the Steps and Stages of EFT with Stage 3, Step 9 - Consolidating new positions and cycles of emotional closeness and attachment. Plus - Dr. Allison Fagan will also give an overview of the recent reclassification of EFT certification. You won’t want to miss it!  I’ll send the link in the April 14th edition of the newsletter.

America’s Happiness Score Drops Amid A Youth ‘Midlife Crisis’.

by Victoria Bissett on April 1st, 2024

According to this Washington Post article, a new study says the U.S. is no longer among the world’s 20 happiest countries, — with young people hit particularly hard and reporting lower levels of well-being than any other age group.

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[Video] New Online Group For EFT Consultation With Dr. Allison Fagan Launching Soon

by OhioEFT on April 1st, 2024

In a recent Zoom call, Dr. Allison Fagan from RCOhio discussed what she plans to offer. If you've in the position of having completed externship but haven't taken Core Skills, this group's for you! Play the video here to learn more.

Can Climate Cafes Help Ease The Anxiety Of Planetary Crisis?

by Lola Fadulu on April 1st, 2024

According to this New York Times article, groups like this are springing up across the country; allowing people to talk through their emotions around environmental change.

How Your Future Self Can Help Your Present Well-Being.

by Stacey Colino on April 1st, 2024

We've all had moments when we wished we could say, "Beam me up, Scotty!"

This desire to be in a better place or time is related to a psychological strategy called temporal distancing. Imagining ourselves in the future is a way to cope with the stress and anxiety of the present. This great Washington Post article explains how picturing yourself in a better state in the future can help you feel better right now.

Got something you’d like to share for an upcoming newsletter?

Send it to chris@ohioeft.com